Hey, look at that! Two weeks in a row! We’re off to a great start.
Before it all comes crashing down. Anyway…
Here’s the second (collect ’em all!) Monday Morning Dispatch:
1) Found a writer on Substack that I thought was kind of interesting. He wrote a couple of quirky pieces that had a rawness to it. Even looked up his books on Amazon and thought, “Hmm, maybe.” So, I subscribed.
And then, folks… Then it turned negative pretty quickly.
I don’t mind a little negativity. A little sarcasm. A little snark. But much like everything else in life, there’s “a little,” “just about right,” “okay, that’s enough,” “no, seriously, enough already,” and “oh my God, stop!”
The “oh my God, stop!” came within two days of my subscribing.
Some folks on Substack like to announce when they hit a certain number of subscribers. They’ll post something like,
“I can’t believe it! I hit 100 subscribers, y’all!” Or, “Just one more to get to 200 subscribers!”
This particular writer had issues with that. He would copy their post and write: “Just unsubbed.”
The first time he did it, I thought it was his attempt at dark humor. Someone posted that they hit 100 subscribers, and he unsubscribed so they would be knocked back to 99.
Then he kept doing it.
He mentioned in another post (or “note” as they like to call it on Substack) that he didn’t like people bragging about their number of subscribers. Except he kept doing it over and over, even to the folks who were being self-deprecating about it (“5 subscribers, people! I can’t believe it!”). Same response from him: “Just unsubbed.”
Maybe it was really meant to be humorous. A performance piece. Maybe he really didn’t unsubscribe from them. Maybe he never subscribed in the first place.
I don’t know. Does it matter? There’s a fine line between dark humor and mean-spiritedness.
I unsubscribed. And those books of his I had considered checking out? Nah. Life is short and there are too many books out there I haven’t sampled yet. I don’t need to read something from someone filled with so much bitterness. I’ve got enough of that in myself.
Note: When I unsubscribed from him, I considered copying his post where he wrote “Just unsubbed” on someone else and writing my own “Just unsubbed” on his. Then I thought, What’s the point? Better to just move on.
Just adding that last part as evidence of how much I’ve matured over the years. Younger me would have burned multiple bridges on my way out of town. Metaphorically, of course.
2) Speaking of negativity…
I’m not a fan of posts where someone asks, “What’s the most overrated band?” Or TV show, movie, book, etc.
I understand it’s a way to get engagement from people, because right away, people have opinions. No matter how much something might be universally loved, there’s going to be at least one person who hated it.
Which is fine. We are all entitled to our own tastes and opinions.
Problems start when you name something that someone else loves. Really, it starts before then.
Someone answers, “I think the most overrated show is [blank].” Other people concur. Then someone responds, “Really? I love that show.”
Many times, this turns into a “We’ll have to agree to disagree,” kind of thing. But there’s also the possibility the person with the negative opinion will double down on it, becoming increasingly insulting and belligerent.
“I hated that show!” “You like their music? That singer is terrible!” And so on.
The point is, the person is shitting on something someone else likes. For what? Does it make them feel superior in some way? Are they going to change the other person’s mind?
“Oh, man, you’re right. I thought that movie was great, but you convinced me it was trash, and my taste in things is also trash.”
How about this: Instead of asking questions like “What is the most overrated [fill in the blank]?” Ask questions like:
“What movie/show/band/book is underrated?”
“What movie/show/band/book surprised you the most?”
“What movie/show/band/book do you wish you could discover again for the first time?”
Something like that. Turn the negative questions into positive ones.
3) All of that is to say, no, I do not have anything against people posting negative reviews. That’s everyone’s right. Although, if I’m being honest…
I also feel that just because everyone has the right to voice their opinion, not everyone should. There are skills to it, and unspoken rules.
For example:
There was a time when I wrote for a book review site. The editor-in-charge would offer me books to read and review. I only picked the ones I wanted to read, or ones I thought sounded interesting. I never picked ones I thought I would dislike, or genres I didn’t normally read.
One rule I had was that if I really hated a book and couldn’t finish it, I wouldn’t review it. There was one exception to that, and it was because the author had personally asked the EIC for the book to be reviewed no matter what.
So, I did. And hoo boy, did I give it a bad review.
Another rule I had was, even if I didn’t like something, I would at least try to bring up one positive thing about the book. Sometimes I really had to reach. (“The font on this was a clever choice.”)
Final rule was, no punching down and no punching laterally. Meaning, if it was a newbie author, or someone on the same professional level as myself (published, but just barely getting by, working a fulltime job to support my writing, etc.), then I would be as tactful as I could and not eviscerate the author in my review.
I know what it’s like to read a negative review and think, “What the hell did I do to this person?” Yes, I’ve been on that end of it.
Punching up? No problem with that. I’ve taken some serious swipes at Stephen King, Peter Straub, James Ellroy, and Bret Easton Ellis (to name a few). They could take the hits. Their bank accounts wouldn’t even feel it. Hurt feelings? I doubt it.
Truthfully, at their positions in life, they should have employed editors to tell them,
“There’s a plot hole here you can drive a truck through. And maybe we should cut this other section down. It drags. A lot. Also, you know that one scene? You know the one. Maybe it’s too much.”
Except there’s a certain level an author hits where the publisher stops caring and just says, “Check for typos, slap a cover on it, and get it out there.” And the hell with the reader’s common sense, too, I guess.
HEMLOCK GROVE was a book I was particularly tough on, and the author was a first-timer. But the book had been sold as a TV series before it was published, so no, I doubt the author cared what I had to say. In fact, after reading what was published, I don’t think the author cared about anything after he signed the contracts and collected his money. If an editor touched that book or requested revisions, it is not apparent in what was published.
4) From the “not that anyone asked” category:
When I’m done driving, I make sure to put the sun visor back up. I hate getting into a car if the sun visor is already down. Makes me feel like I’m climbing into an unmade bed.
5) What I’m currently reading: FIVE MINUTES TO KILL by Fred Stoller.
Rereading it, actually, because I remember reading it after I read Stoller’s MY SEINFELD YEAR (about his brief time spent writing on that show), but I remember little about this book. I think my memory of it is vague because I read it when my son was very young and I was still a stay-at-home dad, but also working a part-time job and writing one of my books late at night, and was getting almost no sleep.
Ah, those were the days! No, I don’t miss them.
The book is a breezy read, and if you ever wondered what life was like in the late 1980’s for a standup comedian, and how a group of six comics could all get the same opportunity, with some going on to greater success while the others…well…The others continued to work, but never became household names like David Spade and Rob Schneider.
Rob Schneider is still a household name, right? Deuce Bigalow? Remember him? No? Ah, it’s probably better if you don’t.
6) What I’m currently watching: Season 2 of SEVERANCE.
I was worried about this one. I hated the cliffhanger ending of season 1. Seriously, TV shows? Don’t do ever do that. It’s annoying as hell.
Then we had a long, long wait for season 2, so much so, that I started to not care if the show came back. I mean, I would forget about it until someone would mention, “What’s this show on Apple?” and I’d go, “Oh, yeah. That one.”
But season 2 is finally here and I decided to jump back in. No regrets! (Or “No Regerts,” as that famous meme of a tattoo states.)
The show is back to the quirkiness and weirdness of the first season, with some added layers to it. Only a couple of episodes in, and they seem to be heading in an interesting direction. I’m hoping the creators have a roadmap and aren’t just driving blindly.
I remember when LOST first premiered and after only a handful of episodes, the creators were asked, “So what’s going on? The consensus is that the characters are all dead and the island is Purgatory.”
LOST creators: “What?! No! Come on. That’s…that’s crazy!” [nervous sweating] “They are definitely NOT in Purgatory.” [flurry of new writers being hired] [show suddenly veers in a different direction]
I’m not sure what the final resolution was. I think the characters ultimately discovered they were in Purgatory. But maybe not the Purgatory, but some kind of metaphysical one. Or something.
I don’t know. I quit after the first season when I felt like we (the viewers) were being driven in circles.
Speaking of which…
Did Mulder (from THE X-FILES) ever find out what the hell happened to his sister?
And that’s your Dispatch for the week.
Slade Grayson is a writer who relies on the kindness of strangers. And readers. And sometimes strange readers. You can buy his books here, or buy him a coffee here.