MONDAY MORNING DISPATCH (3/10/25)

1)  I know I said I didn’t want to discuss politics and how sick I am of hearing about it from both sides… But I have to say something.

It appears to me that there is a significant portion of the American population that is treating our government as some sort of reality program, and they are voting in politicians based on who says the craziest stuff, who says the dumbest stuff, who is the most outrageous, who is a compulsive liar, etc. It’s as if people are at home watching a government version of BIG BROTHER (the TV show, not the book version) and going:

“Man, she’s cray-cray. I gotta vote for her. She always gets on the other housemates’ nerves.” Or

“I’m voting for him! He’s got no filter and always insults the other housemates.”

Like they’re voting for who is the most entertaining person to watch, rather than the most intelligent person, and not realizing that it has real world consequences. Because the “housemates” in this case are other members of Congress and the Senate, and the “viewers” (us) are the ones that suffer for it in the long run.

There may be some voters who are quite aware of what they’re doing. They’re thinking, “Oh, yeah? They think we’re dumb? We’ll show ’em! We’ll vote for the dumbest politicians! We’ll show you how dumb we can really be!”

Yeah, you’re really teaching us a lesson.

Also…

2)  There’s a certain irony to the fact that the side that spent years snickering at “trigger warnings” and calling people “snowflakes,” are so quick to anger (i.e. triggered), and seem to get their feelings hurt so easily.

3)  On another topic (sort of):

Years ago, I took a screenwriting seminar. Had ideas about writing movie scripts and breaking into the film biz. This was around the height of Shane Black’s fame.

Shane is the person who sold his script for LETHAL WEAPON while he was still a film student, and then went on to sell other scripts and eventually got a shot at directing movies. He also had a supporting role in the first PREDATOR film, which is something young screenwriter/directors seem to do (see also: Quentin Tarantino and some of his acting work. Or don’t, because honestly, it’s not that good. Although…I did kind of like his guest star appearance on the TV show ALIAS.).

Seeing myself as a young Shane Black, I decided I would follow the same path – write film scripts, sell a couple, and then parlay that into directing movies. I took a screenwriting seminar, which was not quite the same path, but whatever. I couldn’t afford film school.

The guy giving the seminar was not a familiar name. His biggest credits were writing scripts for the 1980’s MACGYVER show. But he had an understanding of film mechanics and we had fun watching five-minute clips of various movies and breaking down what worked and what didn’t work.

The guy taught us about general rules of screenwriting, like scripts shouldn’t be more than 120 pages (less was better), because one page is equal to one minute of screentime. And no one was going to commit to making a movie over two hours long by an unknown screenwriter.

One other big thing I remember him saying was that it was important to let the audience know who the bad guys are. He said Nazis were the perfect movie villains because you didn’t have to explain anything to the audience. Once they saw the swastika onscreen, people would automatically know, “Oh, these are the bad guys.”

Sometimes I wonder if today’s film audience would have trouble with that. Like a character in a movie would show up with a swastika on their arm and the audience would go,

“Wait, are we not supposed to like this person? I don’t get it. They have the right to voice their opinions just like anyone else.”

Funny how things have changed.

4)  What I’m watching:

Finally finished the SNL 50 Anniversary Special. At over two and a half hours, it took three viewing sessions to get through it. It was…okay.

Look, there were some funny bits and some funny sketches, but the show should’ve been the equivalent to getting one of those SNL “Best Of” shows. And this wasn’t.

Yes, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were funny. Some of the pre-taped stuff was funny. It was nice seeing clips from past shows. Kind of wish there was more of that. But there was also a lot of sketches that relied on nostalgia rather than cleverness. Like, “Oh, hey, remember this character?” That kind of thing.

Also, and no disrespect to Paul Simon or Paul McCartney, but dudes? It’s time to retire. Your voices are shot. I know you’re both friends with Lorne Michaels, and I know you’ve both appeared and performed on the show in the past, but you both should never have agreed to sing on the show. In fact, neither of you should be singing anymore.

Again, no disrespect meant. You’re both in your 80s. You don’t have the same voices you had twenty years ago. Or even ten years ago.

Another problem was that some members of the past casts were used a lot, and others were either ignored or vastly underused. It would have been nice to see the various decades represented a bit more evenly, possibly by having them do their own sketches together. Yes, I get that some of the older casts are suffering from health issues and possibly couldn’t perform. And there are some who have developed strong political convictions and maybe don’t want to be seen appearing/performing on the show these days.

But really… Jon Lovitz got one line in a throwaway bit? They couldn’t come up with more for David Spade to do, like revisiting his “Buh-Bye” character? Did Kevin Nealon even make an appearance?

But the biggest problem, in my opinion, was the audience. Allow me to explain:

The audience for SNL is usually fans of the show. They come there specifically to watch. They’ve probably watched the show for years. So that’s who the audience should have been. Just a regular crowd, but perhaps a lottery of some sort could have been used to pick “super fans” of the show to come watch the 50^th.

Instead, the audience was filled with celebrities. Like an Academy Awards ceremony. Okay… Is Kevin Costner a fan of the show? For that matter, does Kevin even have a sense of humor?

How about Keith Richards? Yeah, they used him in a quick bit. But does Keith tune in on Saturday nights to watch the show? Is he a big fan of sketch comedy?

Jack Nicholson was there. Looked like someone had to wake him up to introduce Adam Sandler. He’s a mega-fan of SNL? Been watching for years and years?

Yeah, I don’t think so. I think there were some celebrities who were fans of SNL, but I also think a lot of them were folks who, quite frankly, are busy working on Saturday nights when the show airs. Filming, traveling, doing theater, etc. If they watch, they probably watch scattered episodes here and there, or clips online.

Here’s an example:

The “Black Jeopardy” sketch was killing, mostly due to Eddie Murphy doing an impression of Tracy Morgan while standing next to Tracy. It was funny. Then, for some reason, they decided Tom Hanks should come out and play his “Doug” character from a couple of years back.

Fans of SNL got the reference and remembered Tom playing this same character in “Black Jeopardy” a couple of years ago. But you could tell the celebrities watching in the audience were like, “Wait, where did Eddie go? What’s going on?” They didn’t get it. It sank the sketch.

There were lots of bits like that where you could tell a huge chunk of the audience just plain didn’t get the reference or understood the nostalgia factor of “Here’s so-and-so back playing this character again.”

5)  What I’m reading:

I’m way behind the times on this, but I’m reading KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL by Anthony Bourdain.

I knew of Bourdain already, having seen clips of his various shows and listened to snippets of past interviews. He seemed to be a polarizing figure, in that folks either loved him or hated him. I think he was more loved than hated, but I don’t have facts to back that up.

Personally, I was ambivalent about him. I think I was more of a Gordon Ramsay fan, but whatever.

I recently learned that Bourdain, back in the early 1970’s, had the ambition to be a writer/artist for comic books. I guess his talent wasn’t quite there, or at least he never received the encouragement to continue with this aspiration, and instead, he turned to cooking. Being a former comic collector and wannabe comic writer, I was intrigued by this revelation. So I sought out his first book, read a sample, and was hooked enough to want to keep reading.

Bourdain cites Hunter S. Thompson as one of his heroes, and his writing style reminds me of Thompson’s – frenetic and exaggerated. He writes like he’s amped up, as if he drank a double shot of espresso and snorted a line of coke before he started writing each chapter. Which, from what I’ve read about the guy, maybe he did.

Anyway…

It’s a fun read and makes me curious about checking out some of his other books. As soon as I get through the hundred or so in my Kindle queue first.

That’s your Dispatch for the week.

Slade Grayson is a writer who relies on the kindness of strangers. And readers. And sometimes strange readers. You can buy his books here, or buy him a coffee here.